


Denouncing November Blue

by Cherrypie62666



Series: Random unfitting one shots and stories [10]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Because You Love Me, Boys Kissing, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, I'm Not Going To Lie, Inner Struggle, It Will End Your Soul, Kissing, Life Happens, Long ass fic, M/M, Mild Smut, More like implied Smut, Real Life, Real Word AU, Roller Coaster Emotions, Sort of Music AU, Whirlwind Romance, but read it anyway, prepare for angst, read it, solangelo, this will probably hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-20 21:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10670931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrypie62666/pseuds/Cherrypie62666
Summary: The tantalizing scent of cooking meat and deep fried foods drifted through the air as he walked along the crowded plaza, making his way to the beverage stand for an ice cold bottled water.  Somewhere amidst the dense sea of sticky bodies his friend Lou Ellen was patiently waiting for his return, sucking the sweet syrup off a drippy snow cone, listening to the high trill and low whirr of the live band playing some cover of a song that sounded like it was a lot more popular in the nineteen seventies than it was in the year two thousand eight.It was hot, and he was sweaty, but that didn’t stop the feeling of excitement pulsing through his body, tapping his foot in time to the beat of the music absentmindedly, waiting for the woman in front of him to figure out just how many margaritas it was she wanted.  After a long, slow wait, he slapped the five down upon the small counter, smiling brightly at the cranky looking man stuck behind the glass.“Just one bottle of water, please,” he hummed, drumming fingers against his outer thigh.  The music dipped and screeched in jazzy rhythms, making his cells vibrate with the sudden need to dance.





	1. Heck Yeah Summer!

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the deal. Each Chapter has a name, each name is a song title. Link to said song via youtube will be in the notes.  
> Both the beginning and end ones, just in case you decide to listen to it before to catch the feeling.  
> It won't be necessary to listen, it'll just help you with the overall feeling. Feel free to look at lyrics instead.  
> If you want a feel for this whole fic, I suggest you listen to this song which holds the title name [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z9EIoBUROQ)
> 
> Otherwise, here is the chapter title song [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j81tMw_g8jg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note, this is a multi-year fic, too. It starts in 2008, ends in the present.  
> Don't think that means it'll be overly, overly long, just note that you'll get large gaps in history that aren't necessary to continue the storyline. You'll understand soon.

The tantalizing scent of cooking meat and deep fried foods drifted through the air as he walked along the crowded plaza, making his way to the beverage stand for an ice cold bottled water.  Somewhere amidst the dense sea of sticky bodies his friend Lou Ellen was patiently waiting for his return, sucking the sweet syrup off a drippy snow cone, listening to the high trill and low whirr of the live band playing some cover of a song that sounded like it was a lot more popular in the nineteen seventies than it was in the year two thousand eight.

It was hot, and he was sweaty, but that didn’t stop the feeling of excitement pulsing through his body, tapping his foot in time to the beat of the music absentmindedly, waiting for the woman in front of him to figure out just how many margaritas it was she wanted.  After a long, slow wait, he slapped the five down upon the small counter, smiling brightly at the cranky looking man stuck behind the glass.

“Just one bottle of water, please,” he hummed, drumming fingers against his outer thigh.  The music dipped and screeched in jazzy rhythms, making his cells vibrate with the sudden need to dance.

It was the summer of his eighteenth year, and Will Solace was grateful to be alive.

The man slid the bottle over, dropping the change messily against his outturned palm.  He mumbled a quiet thank you, stuffing the bills back into his pocket, not even waiting to see if the man would even acknowledge.  He didn’t.  Twisting off the cap, he set the bottle to his lips, pivoting to walk away as his eyes zeroed in on a boy passing not more than ten feet in the distance.

Bright pink shirt, shaggy dark hair, glowing olive skin, and the largest pair of sunglasses he’d ever seen stepped through the crowd, strolling across the open pavement, before disappearing back inside of the sea of people.  A woman behind him cleared her throat angrily, drawing his attention back to the present, causing him to shake his head to clear his thoughts. 

It wasn’t every day he saw pretty boys that had him gawking like a crazy person, but he wasn’t there to do more than hang out, so he pushed his way the opposite direction, looking for the person he’d come there with.

She was standing atop a stone bench, swaying hips out of sync, strange greyish mustache staining her upper lip.  When he caught her eyes, she waved enthusiastically, hopping up and down to grab his attention.

“Hey, Will.  This band is really good.  Do you want to stay and listen, or do you want to go look at some of the little booths they have set up?”

For a brief moment, his mind trailed back to the boy in pink, but he dismissed that thought, smiling back at his friend.  “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.  I could go either way, to be honest.”

Lou bobbed her head in agreement, dropping the half eaten cone into a trashcan, before wiping her hands on her pants.  “I say we look at some booths, the band will be going all night, anyway.”  Hooking an arm through his, she led him off into the heart of the crowd.

The further they went, the harder it was to hear the sounds of music twirling on the gentle breeze.  Soon the hum of voices all speaking at the same time steadily drowned all but their white-noised whine, not that he was intent on listening any further to begin with. 

Lou pulled him toward a booth that sold little colored glass decorations, holding them up to admire the way sunlight pierced their centers in a wash of rainbow reflection.  They sparkled and danced, glittering along the white sheeted walls of the little tent, wavy and bright as they rippled and swayed.

His mind drifted once more, shifting periodically from foot to foot, catching the occasional chattered word that rose up to greet him as Lou spoke with the sales lady about how much she loved her work.  Once the girl got started talking, she could chat for hours about the most mundane topics, so he was probably going to be standing there for quite some time waiting.

Eyes flicked around the crowd, glancing at the other booths nearby, wondering if he shouldn’t just continue on without her, circling back in time to probably still catch the tail end of her conversation.  It was then he caught the sound of different music drifting along on the breeze, far off the opposite direction of the live band, sounding more acoustic and harsh than the trumpets and drums the other boasted.

Curiosity got the better of him, and he offered the girl a quick explanation, before pushing back inside the crowd, following the beat until it took him closer to its source.

A flash of pink, the reflection off large shades, the strum of fingers along the guitar. 

He stopped a few feet away, watching with barely veiled interest as the three boys stood in a semi-circle, playing a song he wasn’t sure whether or not he knew.  Their voices were gritty, the sound a little more pop sensation than he was used to listening to, but as it came to a close, he found himself clapping along with the other curious patrons, smiling as the three took an exaggerated bow.

It wasn’t that he’d intended to stay longer, but the moment he turned to leave, a familiar chord struck his brain, sending a rush of adrenaline straight down his spine.  The sultry voice belted out the lyrics to a song he’d probably sung himself a thousand times before, spinning back around to stare wide eyed at the boy in pink as he strummed the guitar, a gentle smile pulling at the edges of his mouth, even in the midst of the chorus.

Without thought, without reason, his mouth moved in time, voice a quiet hum in comparison, but still very much in rhythm.  Feet moved him ever closer, stopping just shy of the three as they finished the last verse of the song, the rest of the crowd all but dispersed at the unfamiliarity of their newest hit.

The final hum reverberated around, the three boys laughing heartily as they pulled off their guitars, setting them down into hard shelled cases.

“That was really good, I love that song,” he blurted, realizing a little too late that he’d spoken aloud once the words echoed strangely in his ears.

The one in pink smiled briefly, lifting up glasses to set them atop his head.  Obsidian eyes sparkled as they looked him over, tilting his head to the side as he bit his lip.  “Yeah?  Thanks, it’s one of my favorites from them.”

Will shuffled about, nodding his head slowly as a steady blush rose to his cheeks.  The guy was even cuter up close, and from the open way he was staring, it was clear he was at least a little interested.  “Me too.  But I really like _No Children_ , too, it’s probably my actual favorite.”

The guy hummed in amusement, running a hand through his shaggy black mane.  “I’m Nico,” he murmured, then waved a dismissive hand at the other two boys not even paying attention to them.  “These two are Leo and Paolo.” The two looked up and gave a wave, before going back to their previous conversation.  “And who might you be?”

“I’m, uh, Will,” he mumbled, wincing internally at how stupid that sounded.

Nico only chuckled.  “Okay, uh Will,” he teased, smiling again.  “Do you maybe want to sing it with me, then?  No Children?”  He picked back up the guitar, setting the pick between teeth as he checked the tuning by ear.

If Will was honest, everything sounded correct to him; but Nico fiddled a bit, before plucking the pick from his mouth, and giving a quick strum that sounded a lot more like a mariachi band than it did a folk song.  Titling his head in question, he blinked slowly, waiting for a response.

“Oh, right,” Will replied, before giving a halfhearted shrug.  “I’m not really a singer, but sure, why not.”

Long fingers danced up the neck of the instrument, free hand moving along the strings as the song took off.  _I hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us.  I hope we come out with a failsafe plot to piss-off the dumb few that forgave us._ His eyebrow quirked up in question, so Will reluctantly joined in.

_I hope the fences we mended fall down beneath their own weight, and I hope we hang on past the last exit, I hope it’s already too late.  And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down.  And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away, and I never come back to this town again._

_In my life I hope I lie, and tell everyone you were a good wife.  And I hope you die.  I hope we both die._

Nico beamed at him, chuckling softly as he played through the instrumental part, eyes never breaking from his.  For a moment, the rest of the world fizzled out, and the only thing he felt, the only thing he knew, were the words that left his lips, and the look of sparkling black eyes as they bore into him, singing the silly lyrics like they were meant to actually be a love song.

 _I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow, I hope it bleeds all day long.  Our friends say it’s darkest before the sun rises, we’re pretty sure they’re all wrong.  I hope it stays dark forever, I hope the worst isn’t over.  And I hope you blink before I do, I hope I never get sober._ Nico shot him a wink, grinning wickedly, the sound of a laugh thick in his voice.

_And I hope when you think of me years down the line, you can’t find one good thing to say. And I hope that if I found the strength to walk out, you’d stay the hell out of my way! I am drowning; there is no sign of land.  You are coming down with me, hand-in-unlovable-hand.  And I hope you die! I hope we both die._

When the song finally ended, the rest of the world trickled back in.  The sound of applause erupted around them, a couple of passerby giving an appreciative whistle or two that made the blush rising to his face burn all the hotter.

Lou Ellen grabbed him by the arm, eyes wide and happy as she smiled brightly up at him.  “That was so good, Will!  I didn’t know you could sing.”

He blinked in surprise, scratching his cheek in thought.  “Uh, I can’t?”

“I think you have a great voice,” Nico murmured, pulling his attention back to the beautiful boy standing a few feet away.

Will blushed all the harder, dipping his head in embarrassment.  “Ah, thanks, I guess.”

Nico hummed in response, pulling the guitar back off and setting it into the case.  “Well, my friends and I really should be going now.  You should come back next week, we’ll be here then, too.”

“Are you guys in a band or something like that,” Lou asked, tilting her head curiously.

Nico’s eyes never left his, even as he smirked at the question.  “Something like that,” he chuckled, picking up the case in one hand and offering a soft wave.  “You can find me on Facespace, Nico di Angelo.”  He spelled it out regardless of the fact it was spelled exactly as it sounded.  “See you around, uh Will.”

Spinning on his heels, the three friends sauntered off, guitars swinging gently by their sides.

That night when he got home he turned on his laptop, opening up the web browser and typing in the URL.  It wasn’t common for him to be on social media websites, but he did have an account, mostly just to stay in touch with friends and far off relatives.

The search resulted in one profile, but he could tell without clicking that it was the same boy he’d met earlier that day.  The pink shirt was the first giveaway, the guitar and haughty grin playing on his olive skinned face the next.

Running a quick look through the about me section, he felt his brow furrow slightly at the ‘in a relationship’ status glaring him in the face.  It was quickly replaced with a soft smile when he skimmed a little lower and saw the ‘interested in’ part said ‘male’ after it.  At least he was correct in his assumption that the other had indeed been checking him out. 

Clicking the add friend tab, he closed the lid, climbing into bed as the events of the day played behind his eyelids on a slow loop.  An unintended smile curled his lips, and he sank beneath the cool sheets, wondering what the next meeting might have in store for him.  Despite his wish not to, he dreamed of obsidian eyes, a sly smile, and a sultry laugh.

* * *

“Please, please come with me.  I can’t… I can’t go by myself, I’ll feel far too awkward.”  
  
Lou gave him an incredulous look, rolling her eyes and heaving a sigh.  “I don’t know why you need me to come along on your little date,” she muttered.  
  
He frowned, pouting out his lip in response.  “I’ve already told you, it isn’t a date.  He’s in a relationship, and there will be other people with him, or do you not remember his two friends?”  
  
“I remember that you’re utterly ridiculous.  But fine, I’ll go along with you so you won’t feel awkward.  Not that I understand whatever it is we’re going to be doing.  Why do they stand around playing music, now?”  
  
Releasing a long sigh-like breath, he shrugged.  “Because it’s fun to play music?  I don’t know, but I already promised I’d be there, and I am pretty stoked to know someone that likes the same kind of music as I do.  You know how rare that is.”  
  
“You mean you think he’s cute,” she teased, smiling wickedly as he spluttered in response.  “Face it, Will, you have a crush.”  
  
“I have no such thing,” he huffed, feeling his face begin to warm.  “Besides, I’m not a homewrecker, I’d never do that to someone, even if I don’t know them.”  
  
Lou nodded her head, smiling mischievously.  “Sure, you say that now, but just wait and see.”  
  
He shot her a withering look, and she snickered.

* * *

The air was cooler than the last time he’d been there, but still felt warm and muggy as it clung to his skin, wrapping arms around him tightly, causing sweat to bead along the surface of his hairline.  They sat atop a large boulder, lazily strumming guitars, singing happily off-key at one another, sipping things out of brown paper bags.  
  
It wasn’t his normal idea of fun, but he rolled with the punches, taking swigs of tangy brown beers, joining in on the songs he knew the words to, which was a lot more often than he thought he would, leaning back against the rock as his face grew steadily hotter, the gentle rush of alcohol making his fingers tingle slightly.  
  
Nico slid to the place beside him, offering up another bottle of something, smiling warmly in a soft kind of way.  “I’m glad you actually came,” he murmured, voice so low Will was sure he was the only one to hear it.  
  
“Me too,” he admitted truthfully, happily obliging and taking a nice, hearty swill.  “I almost didn’t, if Lou didn’t come along.”  
  
Nico hummed, chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully.  “And why is that,” he finally asked, staring off into the distance, watching as a car drove slowly past, the interior too dark to see anything except the reflection of streetlight painting them all in a soft orange glow.  
  
“Ah, I’m not really all that social,” he replied, dropping his gaze down to his feet.  Digging a converse wearing foot into the soft sand, he hummed lightly in amusement.  “I mean, I have friends, and we hang out sometimes, but mostly I’m just a homebody, and I don’t really put myself out there.”  
  
Nico nodded, drawing his gaze back up into liquid black eyes.  The orange glow of light cast little orbs into his irises, making them shine brighter than if they were standing in sunlight.  “Well, I’m thankful you did.”  He smiled then, just a light curve of his full lips.  “And I hope you’ll come out more often.  I’m only here for the summer, but I’d like to get to know you better.”  
  
Will smiled back, feeling his eyes crinkle with delight.  “Yeah, I think I’d like that, too,” he hummed, lifting the bottle up to take another sip.  The warm wash of alcohol left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he couldn’t bring himself to care right then, because he suddenly felt like he was floating on a cloud.  “Where are you going, after the summer,” he finally asked, handing the bottle back.  
  
Nico seemed to think about that for a moment, before he shrugged.  “My father lives in California, and I’m staying with him for the time being.  My mother lives here, though, with my sister.  I’ll probably end up coming back at some point, but I haven’t seen much of my father since I was a little kid, so I told him I’d at least make it work for a little while.  I don’t know, I guess I don’t want to have any regrets when he’s gone, you know?”  
  
Nodding his head, he chewed on his lip.  “Well, I hope California is good to you, then,” he breathed, smiling softly, and he meant it wholeheartedly.  
  
Stars had already begun to speckle the sky, drawing his gaze up toward the heavens, searching out the constellations he hardly remembered.  The tips of golden glow were still kissing the horizon in the west, but the eastern sky was already a midnight blue, creeping ever upward along the cobalt expanse.  
  
“Here, come with me,” Nico whispered suddenly, taking his arm and leading him off from the group, trekking through the sandy dirt, until they came to a grassy area not far off, just enough out of range from the others that their shrill voices sounded like a gentle hum on the wind.  
  
Sitting down, he pulled Will along with him, grinning happily as they laid back against the cool grass.  “I enjoy stargazing, from time to time,” he murmured quietly, settling in closer until their shoulders brushed lightly, burning fire through Will’s body wherever they touched.

“Me, too,” Will smiled in response.  
  
They laid there in companionable silence for some time, watching the moon rise yellow and swollen over the hill, until it shrank back to its silvery orb, casting the world in its milky glow.  The occasional laugh floated by on the breeze, but otherwise, the whisper of crickets was the only audible melody he heard; that, and the erratic beat of his heart, dancing oddly in his chest.  
  
“Which one is your favorite,” Nico asked, breaking the silence in such a sudden roar of sound that Will actually jumped slightly.  Nico chuckled, but didn’t comment on it.  
  
“I’m not really sure, I guess I like Cassiopeia, because it looks like a W.”  
  
Nico chuckled again, the sound rich and smooth.  “That’s a good answer, both for the constellation, and the reasoning behind it.  I’m partial to Orion, myself, though who doesn’t enjoy the Ursas, the two most iconic of the constellations.”  
  
Will hummed in amusement.  “I don’t really know very many constellations,” he admitted, and Nico laughed loudly in reply.  
  
“That’s okay, neither do I.  Which is why I picked the three I do know by looking at them.  The rest are just a splattering of random dots, and I really don’t see how someone came up with all of these images from looking at the sky.”  He paused for a moment, shifting a little closer, arms pressing a little harder.  “Still, they’re nice to look at, even when you don’t know what is what.”  
  
Nodding in response, Will was inclined to agree.

* * *

The rest of the summer was spent in a haze, hanging out underneath the inky black sky, building bonfires that stretched warm arms up above their heads, dancing in rhythm to their chorus of songs, sang loud and sometimes off-key, though never not harmonized with one another.  
  
It was wild and untamed, quixotic and messy, but the smiles never broke from their lips, even as the nights cooled, the days grew shorter, and autumn could be felt in the dawn of each new day, as frost steadily kissed the grass, splaying spiderlike webs all over the earth.  
  
They drank warm beer from paper bags, laughed so hard their stomachs burned, and drove to high hilltops to look down along the city lights below, twinkling in hues of oranges, yellows, reds, greens, and whites. 

Soft music played over the car speakers whilst they watched all the little people rushing past, in cars made of hard steel, in tall buses, or flying overhead in noisy airplanes; allthewhile remaining constantly in place, laying atop the steadily cooling hood of Nico’s black Toyota Corolla, shoulders pressed together for lack of space.  
  
Sometimes they sat quiet, and others they talked for hours; about all manner of things, about life, and love, and loss, and pain.  They drank hot coffees in little cafes, ate far too many deep fried greasy treats, and took photos of things that seemed oddly fitting, though completely out of place in their exploration of a city they already knew by heart, though saw completely anew in the soft company of budding friendship.  
  
It was effortless and silly, comforting and raw, and entirely unique in its strangeness and ease.  
  
As the final days of summer burned away, they locked those memories deep inside their hearts, promising to never forget the friendship founded on the love of a song, and the compatibility found between their wanderer’s souls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song is [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j81tMw_g8jg)  
> The song they sang together, was No Children by Mountain Goats. [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm-NW1RwPY8)  
> If you clicked the chapter song, and you read "How Far Our Bodies Go," then you might have noticed the album/song name is the name of that fic. I thought the title was fitting for that one.  
> Anyway, I have zero qualms about people deciding to forgo my music tastes. They're all over the place, but mostly sit in the folk-punk genre.  
> While music is a huge huge part of this fic, it isn't the end all be all, so no pressure.  
> If you don't want to listen, I hope you'll at least look up the lyrics.  
> If people request links for that to make it easier, let me know, I'm happy to oblige.  
> I considered making the lyrics be the starting notes.  
> Let me know if that, too, is wanted.
> 
> In the end, I love feedback, comments, anything you got.  
> I love conversing, and it keeps me writing.
> 
> Never say it wasn't warned that this fic might break your heart.


	2. November Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have changed. I might occasionally add secondary songs that incorporate what the both of them are feeling since it won't always been the exact same. It'll happen more in later chapters. Be prepared. :D  
> Nico's song to Will[November Blue by Avett Brothers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQoANw4BYYE)

Months passed in a quiet blur.  Before he knew it, summer was back with a warm sigh, ghosting over his skin in a gentle caress.  The first year of college courses had been a slow, but wonderful success; and he was pleased with the way life had steadily been developing until that point.  He’d worked hard, studied late into the night, and was awarded two semesters of 4.0 GPA.

Both of his friends attended the same college, though hardly any of the same courses, having gone there for different degrees.  Lou Ellen took more night classes than he did, so it was rough at times, but he’d made it out the other side with a better outlook because of it.  Cecil was more Lou’s friend than his, but they still grabbed the occasional coffee between long class breaks, and it was nice to find a decent rhythm amidst the chaos of college.

With summer back, they were free to once again laze about on Lou’s days off, watching movies until ridiculous hours and eating junk foods they knew they probably shouldn’t.  They played video games in rapid succession, had silly little sleepovers in her tiny apartment, and more or less just wasted time without much of a care in the world.

Life, for the most part, was simple.  Simple in the way that happens without too much forethought or planning, simple in the way that everything just is.  He was never the kind to stress overly hard about anything, and with seemingly endless empty days stretched out from June until September, he could sit back and enjoy the quiet hum that sank itself deep into the cracks of his world.  Or so he thought.

He hadn’t heard much from Nico since their final parting all those months prior, and at first it was concerning that their friendship couldn’t withstand the test of long distances, but eventually that melted away as college overshadowed all else.  If he thought hard enough the occasional tickle in the back of his brain questioned how the guy was fairing, but soon it would fade, and he’d return focus to more pressing of matters.

His phone dinged, pulling his attention away from the page in his book.  It was still too early for Lou to be off work yet, but perhaps Cecil was requesting his participation in another round of online gaming.  Flicking open his phone, he started curiously at the number, until he recognized the area code and beamed.  The moment he read the text that said the other was back, living in town again, the gaps of silence disappeared in a second, leaving only the warmth he’d remembered from those blissful nights all those days ago.

Sending a quick reply, he happily agreed to meet up right then, waiting patiently on the street corner until the familiar sight of the black Toyota pulling up had him beaming with delight.  Everything about this comforting sight screamed with intense nostalgia, everything about this sensation told him he was finally _home_.

They drove to their favorite café, Will chatting incessantly along the way, vibrating happily in his seat; while Nico chuckled at the other’s uncontrolled energy, basking in the contentment of the situation like nothing had ever changed.  In the end, nothing really had.  Friendships could withstand almost anything if they were meant to.

“So, tell me about life in California?  How is… Jordan, was that his name?”  Taking a long, slow sip of coffee, he hummed happily as the slightly bitter flavor coated his tongue in a wash of energizing warmth.

Nico smiled tightly in response, running a hand awkwardly through his hair.  “Ah, yeah, we broke up a while ago.  Not long after I got back home, actually.  Otherwise, it was fine, no different than living anywhere else.  Got a job as a barista, that was fun.  I might try that out again.  I’ll be here for a while, it seems.”

Will smiled warmly, feeling giddy at the thought.  “Yeah?  What brings you back to stay,” he asked, absentmindedly stirring the spoon through the liquid in his cup.  It swirled in a dance of milky foam and rich mocha, rippling about the place in a chaotic wave of ribbons.

“My mom is sick,” Nico replied softly, wiping all semblance of joy from the other’s face instantaneously.  He didn’t say it like ‘sick with a cold,’ more like terminal illness, which stabbed a hot poker straight through Will’s chest.

“Oh.  Nico.  I’m so sorry.  Is it... is it bad?”

Nico smiled at that, a little sadly, glancing down at his hands wrapped loosely around his glass before shrugging.  “Cancer?  She’s just started her treatments, so I guess we’ll see.  In the meantime, I’m back to spend whatever time she has left, just in case.  We’re hoping it’ll be a long stay, though who knows when it comes to matters like these.”

He nodded in understanding, smiling warmly despite the inescapable weight that pressed hard into the pit of his stomach.  “Well, if you ever need to vent or anything, you know I’m here for you, right?”

“Thanks,” he murmured, absentmindedly drumming his fingers on the table.  Obsidian eyes stared off into the distance, seemingly lost in thought.

Will recognized the tune and hummed along, earning a flick of dark gaze and blooming smile in response.  It shot electricity through his veins, and he was glad something he’d done had warranted such a satisfying reaction.

“So, what about you, how is college life treating you these days,” Nico finally asked, taking a sip of his cola.  It seemed he wasn’t much of a coffee drinker anymore, at least, not at six in the evening.  Will didn’t think it was ever too late to enjoy a coffee.

Chewing his lip, he shrugged.  “It’s fine.  Nothing too wild or anything like that.  I don’t really have the friends that like to go out and get wasted on weekends, so I did a lot of extra credit assignments, focused on my grades, spending weekends at home.”

“Nerd,” Nico teased, eyes twinkling with amusement.

Snorting in response, he took another long sip from his cup.  “I apologize that my academic prosperity is more important to me than drinking on weekends or being frivolous with my time,” he replied, taking on the same teasing tone.

Nico hummed, lips quirking up in a soft smile.  “I never said it was a bad thing,” he amended.

Will rolled his eyes and shook his head.  “Yeah right, as if it _could_ be a good thing.  I know I’m boring, but I like things a little quieter sometimes.  It’s… nice.”

“I think you’re far from boring,” He replied, quirking a brow.

The laugh that escaped Will’s lips was bubbly and light, floating up in a gentle rush of sound.  “Well thank you, I’m glad someone does.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They sat there for some time, talking about gentler topics, pulling the mood back around to one of light contentment.  It was the summer of Will’s nineteenth year, and he was learning the meaning of love and loss, even as he didn’t quite recognize all the warning signs as they passed him by with glaring uncertainty.

* * *

 

“You know he likes you, right,” Lou asked randomly one afternoon, giving him a pointed look from across the small table.  She was on her lunch break from the restaurant she worked at, and Will had walked the short distance over to visit on the otherwise uneventful end of summer day.  It was their ‘thing,’ so he tried to continue it, even if there were other places he’d rather be at the moment.

Frowning slightly, he shook his head in disbelief.  “No, we’re just friends,” he finally mumbled, staring hard at the fry in his fingers, before shoving it into his mouth a little roughly.  He chewed, longer than necessary, if only to avoid the awkward direction of the conversation.  “You’re just seeing things that aren’t there”

“Just think about it for a second,” she sighed, rolling her eyes at his obliviousness.  “He’s always doing whatever you ask, when you ask it, without hesitation.  He stares at you in a soft way, makes excuses to touch you, buys you food like all of the time.  I mean, do you really think that is only due to friendship?”

Will pursed his lips, mulling things over, before he laughed outright at the silliness of it all.  “Well, he was more or less the same last summer, and he was seeing someone at the time, so I doubt he was trying to come on to me.  I mean, it’s probably just how he naturally is.  He’s sweet, that’s all.”

Cocking an eyebrow, she hummed in amusement.  “I was pretty damn sure he liked you last time, too.  Relationship aside.  And you said they broke up shortly after he got back, which sounds like he was having a crisis over who he liked better.  Honestly, Will, you guys are fucking perfect together.  I thought you used to like him back?”

“Used to,” he sighed, shaking his head again.  “But now we’re just friends.  Best friends.  He’s like… I can’t explain it, but it’s like he knows me better than anyone, without even having to talk about it.  If I’m grumpy, it’s probably because I’m hungry, so he fixes it with nourishment.  If I’m sad, he puts on loud music and we drive around screaming out the lyrics until our voices are raw.  Sure, we’d probably have that kind of relationship that lasts forever, but I like what we have now.  I don’t want it to change.”

Lou scoffed at that.  “I think you’re just scared of being happy.”

“I am happy.”

She shot him another pointed look.  “I mean happily in love with someone.  I think it could be good for you if you gave it a shot.  At least don’t count it out before it ever has a chance.  You don’t want to have regrets later.”

Heaving a sigh, he slipped from the bench.  “I’ll try to keep that in mind, but I think you’re wrong.  We’re just friends.  He wants that, too.  I’m positive.”

“If you say so,” she murmured, returning her attention to her plate full of food.

He walked away, exiting out the glass door; thoughts like these would only complicate something that had always been so utterly simple.  Thoughts like these were just wishing for something bad to happen.

* * *

 

The summer passed in a short burst of energy, fall catching up like the sudden whirlwind of fallen leaves that danced in the streets, twisting in their fiery displays on the gentle breeze.  Classes started back up, and he hardly had available time to spare anymore, but the two made do between their late-night study sessions and long and tiresome workloads.

Weekends were his favorite time, neither having other obligations that kept them from cruising about the town like they always did, windows rolled down, drinking in the crisp autumn chill as it tickled their hot, burning faces, still breathless from singing so hard that their throats already burned with satisfaction.  It was a great time to be alive, with music in their laughter, and contentment under their skin.

Will daydreamed, of course, about the things his friend had said to him, about things that didn’t make sense at the time, but now slowly started to.  Each time a look lasted a little longer, each time a smile softened beyond what the situation called for, he wondered if those words were the actual truth, if he was just blind to the obvious out of fear of changing dynamics.

He wondered, and he dismissed; worried that it was all just thoughts created inside of his head, worried that his budding interest in the matter lay more with the idea of what could be than the reality of what was.  Worried that reciprocity wasn’t a given, but something that might need to be earned, which would crush him the moment he understood the actual truth and not that fairytale lie.

Even still, the two never strayed beyond the safe lines of friendship; even when they drank so much their heads were dizzy, even when they awoke the next day with regret trapped behind their eyeballs; it was always light, and gentle, and soft, and comforting.  Never more than what he would expect from another, never less than everything he hoped it would be.

November came, the icy cold winds making it harder and harder to venture outside the safety of their homes.  They still sought solace in their little cafés, but it was more for the warmth of the coffee and the inability to do much else than it was for actually wanting to sit there, day after day after day.

Their laughter steadily died along with the heat, so he sought out new comfort in their quiet contentedness, shifted his desires so that they would continue reflecting the reality of the situation over the falsified fantasy, desperate to avoid any form of heartache; even if it was only given by a friend.

Nico’s moods became a little erratic, his smiles taking longer to form, slipping from his lips far sooner than they ever had before.  His movements grew shakier; the sadness he was feeling etched deep into his skin.  It was apparent the reasoning behind it all, but he never brought it up himself, too afraid of the backlash to risk the questions, too caught up in what he should do to listen to what was necessary.

Finally, on a chilly afternoon, sitting high up on a hill overlooking the city, so different in the daytime sun than it was in the glowing nightlife; Will asked the question he’d always been too afraid to.  “How is your mom doing?”

Nico blinked in slow surprise, turning toward him slightly to offer a thin smile.  “Not good.  They don’t know if she’s going to make it.  Pretty much we’re just waiting to see, but it’s only a matter of time before she won’t be able to continue living at home.  The treatments make her really sick, and Bianca thinks a live-in nurse would be better than we can do for her.”

Without thinking he reached out and caught the other’s hand with his own, lacing their fingers and offering a reassuring squeeze.  “I’m still here if you need me, you know,” he murmured softly, barely legible over the quiet hum of speakers belting out lyrics his mind refused to focus on.

Nico smiled again, slightly less shaky this time, even as it didn’t quite reach all the way to his eyes.  “I know.  Thank you.  I appreciate it.”

He nodded in response, allowing the sensation of their clasped hands to speak the volumes his words didn’t know how to articulate, the things that caught hard in his throat, terrified of their misinterpretation.  That he was sorry, that he wished he could make it all stop, take it all away.  He was there, and he would be there as long as was necessary, no matter the costs.

They sat there in companionable silence, listening to the rest of the album play out, lost in their own individual thoughts; and Will wondered briefly if this is what it felt like to know someone better than you knew yourself, to understand the things that slipped through the cracks; offering silent comfort, because words meant nothing in the end, and the only thing you could really do for another was just be there for them, a constant pillar amidst a sea of inconsistencies and doubts.

They sat and they absorbed all the little feelings the other gave off, all the little sounds floating up to reach their eardrums.  Even in that delicate silence he still found music in the smallest places; from the car’s engine rumbling gently, to the cd whirring inside the player, searching in vain for the next song; even the beat of their breathing was a perfect rhythm, like a whispering melody only they would ever know.

It was pleasant and comfortable, filling him with warmth and happiness, even as he knew these good things could never last, that reality was a cruel mistress, that everything must eventually come to an end.  He wouldn’t change a single instant, not for a thousand more days of sunny feelings, not for anything else in the entire world if it meant he couldn’t have this here, just a little bit longer, the exact way it was then.

* * *

 

Winter break was a bore all by himself, so he caught the bus across town from time to time, finding himself seated in perfect view of Nico as he worked his barista job at the coffee shop inside the bookstore.  He’d go, taking two hours to make it from his home to that place, and then he’d browse through the selection of books, shooting sly glances from his perched place up high, grinning like a fool whenever the look was returned.

Sometimes he’d wait there for hours, finishing novels he never thought he’d have the time for, if only to avoid the two-hour-long ride back home in awkward silence, when it would almost be faster to just wait it out at a table with a cup of coffee and a few stolen glances, accompanied with hopeful daydreams.

He didn’t want to admit it out loud, but the rush he got whenever eyes locked, brows cocked, lips pulled upward in soft smiles steadily sank warmth deep down inside of his bones, until he couldn’t deny any longer that his emotions had gone past friendly and straight into new territory.  It was the simplest kind of transition, without effort or anxiety, without overthinking or stress.

He knew everything about the new sensation, from the deepest parts inside his core, straight through and outward to the feeling of his skin.  It was like looking at his own hands, memorizing the lines and curves, then reciting the information back to someone; full of certainty and the faintest hints of pride.

He saw the affection reflected back at him, knew the truth without verbal confirmation.  It had taken a moment to believe all the evidence in his own heart, but never once did he doubt the soft and welcoming emotion that Nico sent his way.  The two had danced their strange dance for months on end, held back by his own fears and weaknesses, now ready to open up and allow that comforting embrace to take hold of his soul.

If there was one singular truth he could depend on it was that Nico felt all of these things and more, and Will was finally ready to blur that self-imposed line, until it mirrored all of his secret hopes, reflecting every wonderful desire back to him.

When they drove home one night after Nico’s shift had ended, falling into their comfortable routine of hanging out on the couch, sipping drinks and watching old movies together; he could almost feel the shift of things take place before they had even happened. 

Nico’s thigh was pressed flush against his own, their shoulders overlapped slightly, hands itching from the place in their own respective laps.  The film ended, the credits rolled, and Nico dared to laugh and tease him over the sparkle of tears that welled in his eyes.

The ending was a happy one, but the moment of unsure sadness just before everyone received their happily ever after always managed to make him sob uncontrollably, even years after his first initial viewing.

“Aw, it’s okay, everything worked out in the end,” he smirked, obsidian eyes dancing with delight.

Will swiped the moisture from his gaze, frowning softly with a gentle pout.  “Don’t make fun of me, I can’t help it.  When they don’t know he’s on his way home, it just gets me every time.”

Nico grinned, playfully shoving him away.  “That’s alright, I know you’re a secret sap.”

A bubbly laugh burst from his throat, shoving back just as gently.  “Just because you have no soul,” he teased.

“You take that back,” Nico warned, sounding more amused than reprimanding.

Will bit his lip, stifling another giggle.  “Make me,” he challenged, cocking a brow and smiling brightly.

The two proceeded to fumble wildly, cries of faux outrage and little peals of laughter echoing across the otherwise quiet room.  After a moment, Nico managed to twist arms around his neck, yanking him down to press Will’s face hard against his chest, chuckling as he struggled and failed to escape.  In a last-ditch effort for freedom, his mouth opened, coming back down to rake teeth across sensitive flesh.

Nico shivered, a quiet moan emanating from his throat, before he pulled Will up swiftly and merged their mouths.  His hunger was evident, requesting access to deepen the kiss, nipping gentle bites into Will’s lower lip, causing waves of pleasure to shoot down his spine.

They kissed for some time, lost in the rhythm of the new sensation, caught up in the feeling of tongue and teeth and skin.  After a moment Nico pulled back, breath coming out in ragged sounding gasps, pupils dilated so wide they consumed what little hues of brown flecked through his irises.

“Sorry,” he murmured, gaze flicking down to Will’s lips, before coming back up to search his eyes.  “You just... can’t do that to me, unless you’re seeking that reaction.”

Will’s breath was equally ragged, but he smiled warmly, humming low in his throat.  “And what if I am,” he asked, feeling a touch bold all of a sudden.

Nico pressed their foreheads together, eyes slipping shut for a moment.  “Well, I suppose that’s fine, then,” he breathed, words warm as they tickled the skin of Will’s face.  They sat there for a moment, drinking in the newness, waiting for their pulses to slow back down.  “I should get going, though.  Walk me out?”

The door was mere feet away, but he nodded regardless, rising from the place upon the couch.  Nico followed, keeping a close distance behind, stopping when Will turned awkwardly at the door.  “Well, goodnight, then,” he hummed shyly.

Pulling him back in by the fabric of his shirt, Nico kissed Will so hard his head felt like it was spinning, knees going momentarily weak as he gripped the other for support.  With a beautiful smile, Nico stepped back, placing a hand upon the knob and biting the side of his lip.  “I’ll see you later, Will,” he promised in a silky voice, before disappearing into the cold December night.

Will leaned back against the door for a moment, fingers brushing softly against the skin of his mouth, unable to stop the slow spread of happiness that bloomed across his face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nico's song to Will[November Blue by Avett Brothers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQoANw4BYYE)  
> Don't be too excited. This fic is drawn out, and I'm sure it is at least a smidge apparent some of the shit that might just go down. So. Fair warning, right?
> 
> Comments are my inspiration to keep writing. :o


	3. Something Vague

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And I hang like a star, fucking glow in the dark,_   
>  _For all those starving eyes to see,_   
>  _Like the ones we've wished on._   
>  _But now I'm confused. Is this death really you?_   
>  _And do these dreams have any meaning?_   
>  _No. No, I think it's more like a ghost that's been following us both._   
>  _Something vague that we're not seeing,_   
>  _Something more like a feeling._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will's song - [Left on Laura, Left on Lisa](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GFLN8XDuyY)  
> Nico's song - [Something Vague - Bright Eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqGqWRgNE70)

Everything was perfect, except it wasn’t.  Not by a long shot.  After their little kiss, he’d assumed there would be more of them betwixt the two, that their relationship would change to include those kinds of reactions.  When Nico asked him if he wanted to go out for coffee, he’d happily agreed, but from the second his car pulled up and Will climbed inside, the mood felt heavy, thick with strange emotions, laced with unspoken thoughts.

It was confusing, to say the least, so instead of offering a dazzling smile and grabbing the other’s hand, he folded them in his lap, squeezing hard enough that it began to sting.  It was nothing like his expectations; though if he was honest with himself, he hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with his intentions.  Perhaps it was just a little misunderstanding, simply fixed with a few short words.  The fear that it might be something more kept him quiet.

Nico didn’t talk much as they drove, but he was thankfully kind enough to turn on music so there wouldn’t be complete silence the entire way.  Will could tell from the somber expression on his face that there was something on his mind, and he hoped beyond all hope that it had to do with things unrelated to them, even if that was a little bit selfish.  If their friendship grew awkward or fell apart because of this, he didn’t know how he would cope.

By the time they found themselves sitting inside the café, sipping on their respective drinks, he couldn’t stand the palpable tension any longer.  Relationship be damned, he’d rather know the cause and hope there was a compromise to fix things than remain in this limbo-like state of perpetual anxiety for another instant.

With a deep breath in, he let it out slow and quiet.  “Something on your mind,” he probed gently, sounding far more level and collected than he currently felt.

Nico blinked a few times as if dazed, before flicking his dark eyes over to bore into Will’s blue ones.  The side of his mouth curved up a little, attempting to look reassuring.  “Sorry.  It’s just my mom might need to stay in the hospital soon.  Her chemo treatments are making it too hard to walk.  They give her a few months at most, and that’s if she’s super lucky and responsive.  So far, she hasn’t been.”

Will’s stomach clenched horribly, feeling even guiltier for wishing the awkward heaviness was about something unrelated to them.  Of course it was probably something else, how could a kiss that held such uncontained desire ever turn into a silent regret?

“Oh, Nico.  I… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he murmured.  “You’ve helped me a lot, throughout it all.  Thank you for sticking with me.”

Swallowing hard, he gave a firm nod in response.  “Of course, I’ll always be here for you.  No matter what.”

Nico’s smile almost looked happy, despite the sad glint in his eyes.  “I know.  You’re a great friend.  I don’t deserve someone like you.”

“Nonsense,” Will chided softly, frowning a little at the strange choice of wording.  “You deserve good things, especially at moments like these.”

Reaching out a hand across the tabletop in silent promise, he was happy when Nico obliged, allowing their fingers to lace, hands to merge together.  Willing as much strength as he could through their conjoined palms, his lips turned upward in a warm smile, giving a gentle squeeze in reassurance.

Nico’s somber mood remained, always noticeable in the lines of his face, but their hands stayed locked together for the rest of the afternoon, so he decided it was a small win.  The conversation flowed a bit more freely afterward, even going as far as to incite a little chuckle from time to time with a well-placed quip.

Distraction had always been his go-to for misery, and he hoped Nico appreciated the minuscule escape as he blabbed on incessantly about anything and everything to keep the mood uplifted.  By the way Will caught the other sneaking the occasional sideways glance as he drove him home a little later that day, the ends of his lips turned softly in a warm smile, Will thought there was a very good chance that Nico had.

* * *

 

The phone buzzed on the night table, the sound echoing about the dark room.  Cracking open a tired and bleary eye he glanced at the clock, noting the lateness of the hour.  It was well after three, and not many people felt the need to message him after ten PM.  In the offhand chance it was Lou asking something she’d only get mad at him for not answering right away, he grabbed the device, flicking open the keyboard to illuminate the screen.

His heart sank into his stomach, adrenaline pumping fire into his veins so hot that he shot up off the mattress before he knew what was happening.  Slipping into the nearest pair of crumpled pants, he threw on the cleanest shirt he could find still littering the floor, stepping into a pair of worn out Vans, even if it meant forgoing socks.

Clicking the call button, he raced outside into the freezing night, not even caring that he’d forgotten his coat.  The phone rang twice before Nico picked up.  “Hey, I’m outside,” he said, watching the swirling vapor of his breath as it drifted up into the inky blackness glittered with small white specks of light.

“Alright,” the voice came muffled from the other side, sounding far less alert than even he was feeling.  “I’ll be there in a couple minutes.”

“Okay, see you soon,” Will murmured, pulling the phone away from himself to watch the black screen flash to white, the numbers beneath the end call text reading twelve seconds.  It didn’t feel so short as that; it felt like an eternity slipping between each and every syllable they spoke.  After the entire thing went dark once more, he placed it back into his pocket, gazing out into the empty street.

After a minute or two, he realized just how horribly cold it truly was, and slunk back inside the quiet house, grabbing his coat and keys before scribbling down a quick note just in case.  It was already three forty-seven, and he wasn’t sure when he’d be back.  Locking the door, he waited patiently on the curb until the familiar scene of glowing headlights turned down his block.

Nico was silent for the most part, sending him a few small smiles anytime they’d stop for a light.  He didn’t know what to say, so he just listened to the soft music that always played through the speakers, hands folded back in his lap as they drove the short distance to the nearest hospital.

Considering the lateness of the hour, he was surprised to see the emergency room parking lot still filled full with cars.  They parked as close as possible to the big glass doors, entering the too bright white building with long and leisurely steps.

The woman at the desk had tired grey eyes, her long black hair pulled back high on her head into a messy almost bun.  Her canary yellow scrubs were stained and wrinkly along the hemline, the little badge pinned to the breast pocket hanging slightly askew.

She smiled brightly despite her haggard appearance, spinning in her swivel chair to face them in their approach.  “How may I help you?”

Nico positioned himself between the two little chairs meant for patients to sit in, drumming his fingers on the desk absentmindedly.  “I’m here to find out where they’ve put my mother.  Maria di Angelo.  She was brought in a little while ago in the ambulance, and they told me to check here first.”

The woman typed swiftly onto her computer, clicking her tongue in rapid succession as she sought out the information.  “Ah, yes.  It seems that they’ve forgone an ER room, and she’s already been emitted.”  Spinning back to face him, she gave a tight smile.  “The room is 209, if you take this elevator here, you’ll find it just down the hall.”  Glancing over at Will, she hummed in contemplation.  “I’m afraid it’s after visiting hours for anyone that isn’t family.”

“That’s okay, I’ll wait right here,” he offered quickly, smiling warmly when the other turned his way.

Nico gave him an apologetic look.  “I’ll be back before too long.  I promise.”  Then he turned around and left, the elevator doors closing with a soft ping.

The woman behind the desk motioned toward the chairs lined up along the wall.  “You can sit there if you’d like.  I’m sorry you came all this way just to be turned back.  If it were up to me, I’d let you go with your… er, friend.”  She flushed slightly, clearly embarrassed for not knowing the proper term.

Will shrugged, taking a seat.  “That’s alright.  I just wanted to offer my support, mostly.  I don’t really know his mother.”

Relief washed over her face when he didn’t clarify her assumption.  “There’s a water cooler if you get thirsty.  Feel free to help yourself.”

“Thanks.”

True to his word, Nico was back within the hour.  Will spent the time playing snake on his phone, glancing up every so often to check and see if anyone was coming down the elevator or walking down the empty hall.  Halfway through his wait, the nice receptionist left, replaced with a peppy looking blonde woman who slurped her large coffee drink loud enough to be considered annoying.

Nico took him home, offering a small half hug in thanks before promising to text him soon.  When he drove away, Will watched the taillights glowing bright red in the still black night, until they turned the corner down the block and were gone once more.  The house was quiet when he fell into bed, but the events of the evening made it impossible to fall asleep for some time.

They fell into a regular pattern, Nico driving the two of them to the hospital on Friday nights, going through the long-term patient entrance and riding up to the second floor.  After that, Nico would stare curiously at him once they made it to the locked set of doors, but he’d always just smile softly and shake his head, too afraid to intrude on the family moments to ever follow inside.

The sessions never lasted all that long, so he didn’t feel imposed upon to sit quietly in the cushy beige chairs, reading the occasional book or shooting a quick text Lou Ellen’s way.  Sometimes, when the anxiety choked his insides a little too tightly, he’d walk up and down the long white hall looking at the paintings that never changed in appearance, but always seemed to help quell the aching in his chest.

Nico went other nights throughout the week, here and there whenever he got the chance after his shift, but with their conflicting schedules, Will couldn’t accompany him most of the time.  He didn’t say it aloud, but Will could tell by the nervousness laced thick through his voice whenever he asked if the other would like to join him that having someone there, even just for the car ride both directions, really seemed to help him deal with everything a little better.

And it made Will happy to be useful in some way.  He wasn’t good with consoling words or knowing how to give others what they needed the most in times of stress.  Nico was too stubborn to ever admit he wasn’t alright, so any little action that made the boy smile really brightened up his day significantly.

They continued this same pattern without fail for weeks, until one night on the way home, Nico stared hard at him during one of the really long stoplights, causing his stomach to drop hard as he tried to figure out the reasoning.  Turning with a reassuring smile, he tried his best to keep the terror out of his voice.  “Yes?”

Nico blinked for a moment before he mirrored the smile softly.  “I was just wondering if you wanted to come back to my place tonight.  You can stay if you’d like.”

“Sure,” he agreed, suddenly giddy at the prospect of more alone time.  He’d been to Nico’s a few times, but not much since his mom had been emitted to the hospital.  The house always seemed too empty after that, and he didn’t want to go there if it only made Nico sadder.

When they got inside, Nico offered him a beer from the fridge.  It was cold and bitter but warmed his stomach with that familiar wash of heat that always left him pleased to have consumed it.  He sipped it slowly, enjoying the thick taste as it slipped down his throat and coated his tongue with oat and hints of coffee.

Nico’s bedroom was exactly as he remembered it, a bed against the far wall, a dresser across from that with a TV atop it for playing video games, and a little stand in the corner with his acoustic guitar propped up nicely, just waiting to be played.  It was minimalistic and a little bare, but he didn’t mind, finding charm in the tidy feeling of the small and quiet space.

They sat on the edge of the mattress, finishing off their drinks in companionable silence.  The bed was a queen, large enough for both of them to sleep comfortably, and he wondered briefly if they would be sharing it, or if Nico had plans for him to stay somewhere else.  Before he could question it aloud, he found himself tugged hard by the shirt into a heated kiss.

It was warm and soft, tasting of the dark ale and something minty, like gum.  Nico’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him closer despite the awkward angle of their legs, still pressed lightly against each other where they sat side-by-side on the bed.  Before he could pull back to catch a breath, Nico deepened the kiss, nipping his lip harshly and making him moan.

His head spun from the heat of it all, breath coming out between kisses in hard, quick gasps.  He was far from being a virgin anymore, that ship having sailed long ago, but never in his life had someone kissed him with such ferocious intensity.  It filled him with desperate longing, twisting a hand through thick black locks, enjoying the delicate purr the other made as he tugged the strands gently but firm.

Nico pulled away after a beat, rising from his place on the bed with a soft grin.  Crossing the room in two quick steps, he flicked off the light switch, pulling off his shirt and tossing it to the ground.  He motioned for Will to slink back up along the bed, following him there as he peppered kisses along his throat and jaw.

They kissed hungrily for a while, hands wandering up sides and down the expanse of exposed flesh, raking nails and shivering with delight.  After a little while, Nico tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling it off with ease once Will sat up to help it along, tossing it down to the floor to accompany his own.

They kissed, and they moved against one another, exploring new places with fingertips in a heated kind of urgency.  If things continued just like this, never going a step farther than was necessary to accommodate their newfound source of pleasure, Will would be forever happy to know he got everything he ever wanted from the experience.

His hand slid down between the two of them, fumbling blindly for their buttons to remove the tightness that had slowly developed in both of their pants.  He managed to pop Nico’s first, allowing him to slide out of them in one swift motion, helping Will to finish his own and discard them next to their shirts on the floor.

With newfound freedom of motion, they locked their lips once more, pressing and grinding hard enough to elicit moans of pleasure from both of their lips.  The sensation was deliciously intoxicating, Will reaching down to cup Nico’s ass as he ground down once more with a gentle flick of his hips. Both of them breathed heavily as they steadily reached a new point of pleasure from their uninhibited movements. 

“Please,” Will panted, tugging soft on the elastic band of the other’s boxer briefs.

Nico chuckled in response, rising up on his hands to breathe tickling sensations across Will’s heated face.  “You want more,” he purred, chest rising and falling in rapid succession.

Will nodded slowly, too shy to admit anything out loud lest it come across as far too needy.  Instead, he reached a hand up, cupping softly against other’s jaw in a tender way.

Nico pulled back suddenly, hesitation written clear on his face.  His dark eyes were too hard to make out in the dim lighting, but if Will had to guess, they were probably filled with regret.  “I… I can’t do this,” he murmured, pulling the skin of his lip between his teeth to chew on it.

“What,” Will asked, not really knowing what else to say.  Couldn’t do what, exactly?  What did he think they were about to do?  Surely they didn’t need to go further than either of them was comfortable with.

Nico slid into a semi-upright position, half straddling his legs.  Passing a hand back and forth between their torsos, he let out a small sigh.  “This.  Whatever this is.  I just… I can’t.  I’m sorry.”

Propping himself up with his elbows, Will frowned.  “I don’t… understand.  Why not?”

“Because you’re my friend, Will.  That’s why.  And it’s weird for me.”

Confusion bubbled up inside his stomach.  “But… I thought… and you kissed me first…” he trailed off, searching Nico’s face like it might hold the answers he needed.

Nodding stiffly, Nico rolled off him then, placing himself nearer to the edge of the mattress.  “I know.  I shouldn’t have done that.  I’m really sorry, Will.  I don’t know what else to say.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, dropping his gaze down into his lap.  Sitting fully upright, he pulled his knees towards his chest, wrapping arms around them snuggly.  A strange sensation coiled tight around his insides, worming through his lungs and clawing to get out of his throat.  A whimper escaped before he could hold it back, biting his lip hard to stifle the sob that tried to follow it.

“Will,” Nico pleaded softly, reaching out a hand to attempt to offer comfort.  His voice was raw and cracked, but the sound did little to soothe the pang ripping its way through Will’s chest.

Recoiling violently away, he released a strangled whine instead.  “Don’t,” he warned, swallowing down the lump he knew always meant tears.  It was unavoidable whenever he found himself too worked up.  He needed to leave, or he’d break down with nowhere to hide.  “Take me home.  Now.”

Nico nodded again, sliding off the bed and heading to the closet to grab a clean shirt and pants.  Will fumbled blindly in the dark, jaw clenched hard against the urge to scream.  Throwing on his own articles of clothing, he followed quietly out the door, ignoring the rush of cold air that greeted them as they slipped silently into the dark night.

His face was hot, his body trembling from holding back the rush of chaotic emotions lapping violently at his insides, threatening to drag him down into despair.  Where had he gone so wrong that he misread all of the signs?  Did he really manage to fool himself so terribly after just one heated kiss?  He felt like an idiot, imagining that things would go smoothly or that his feelings would be returned the same way.  They were supposed to be friends, and now it was ruined completely.

Salty tears dripped silently down his cheeks, the darkness inside the vehicle hiding the worst of it, even as they passed under bright orange streetlights.  The short drive between their houses felt like it took an eternity, though, in truth, he knew it was closer to five minutes.  Five agonizing minutes with nowhere to hide and sob and break the way his body itched to.  Five long minutes biting back the screams that burned his throat with their unspoken cries and harrowing wails.

Even as Nico pulled up along the side of his house, placing the car in park as the engine purred her gentle humming song, Will still couldn’t bring himself to leave.  After this, everything would be different.  After this, he couldn’t take back whatever hurtful things left his lips.

 _Please, just tell me it’ll be okay,_ he begged loudly in his own head, the words bouncing around inside of him on an endless loop.  _Tell me you’re wrong, that we can fix this.  Tell me something._

He stared out the passenger’s side window, the occasional tear still pooling heavy on his lid.  After a beat of silence, Nico cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, Will.  I hope we can still be friends.”

A white-hot knife ripped new agony through his abdomen, air leaving his lungs in a stuttering breath.  Unbuckling the seatbelt, he let it slide off his body before he pivoted toward the other, steeling his features to hide his pain.  “You are a fucking coward,” he seethed, letting all the hurt burn into anger inside his veins.

Nico looked down into his lap, unable to meet the piercing gaze.  “I know.”

Gritting his teeth, he threw open the car door, slipping out in one shift motion.  “Go fuck yourself, di Angelo,” he spat, then slammed the thing hard enough to startle a dog somewhere in the distance.

Determination slowed his movements as he marched down the sidewalk toward his front door.  Without a second glance back, he scrambled inside the dark house, closing the latch with a soft click.  Somewhere in his emotionally wrecked state, he hoped beyond hope that Nico would follow after him, apologizing for his actions before it became too late.

The car pulled away from the curb, disappearing into the cold night.

The wall holding everything together inside of him cracked, emotions flooding his body far too quickly to keep anything back. Fresh tears stung his eyes, the pain in his chest suddenly becoming an unbearable agonizing throb. Shuffling quietly to his room, he fell to his knees as the door closed behind him, the last ounce of energy keeping him upright leaving him completely.

Scrambling toward the mattress like a wild animal, he clawed his way up, kicking off unlaced shoes and tugging off his shirt.  A familiar scent wafted around him, blindsiding his mind in its fragile state.  Glancing down at the fabric, he realized all too suddenly that he’d grabbed the wrong thing from the floor, the familiar band logo causing another wail to rip from his throat.

Burying his face into the black cloth, he screamed through the ache weighing far too heavy on his splintered heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for no warnings about things getting hot and heavy for a second there...  
> But I didn't think it would matter if nothing happened in the end.  
> I admit I needed a few shots of whiskey to get through this chapter.  
> It was brutal writing it.  
> Once again.  
> Will's song - [Left on Laura, Left on Lisa](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GFLN8XDuyY)  
> Nico's song - [Something Vague - Bright Eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqGqWRgNE70)  
> Hope I got the point across well on why things are happening how they are. More or less.  
> I'll write the next one soon enough. :)
> 
> Comments are muchly appreciated. :)  
> They make me write faster.


End file.
